Jason Tonsfeldt got attacked by a bear and now has a huge scar on his neck. Or at least that is what he and his family jokes happened to him to find some humor in a tough situation. In reality, Jason’s scar was the result of doctors removing lymph nodes from his neck following a cancer diagnosis in 2021. This was not the first time he was diagnosed with cancer, nor would it be the last. Tonsfeldt is again fighting cancer currently. He and his wife, Ali, shared the journey Jason’s cancer has taken their family on.
Tonsfeldt, now 38, is an Omaha, Nebraska native. He and Ali, also from Nebraska originally, moved to South Dakota in 2018 when she was hired as park manager at Fort Sisseton Historic State Park. Jason, who also has a parks background, has also worked at the Fort the last few years.
Long before the couple met, Jason had already been through the cancer wringer. In 2001, when he was just 16 and a junior in high school, he was diagnosed with nasopharyngeal carcinoma. He says it came as an absolute shock. “I was a healthy football player who road my bike 12 miles a day,” Jason notes. Yet, doctors found tumors in his nose and neck and cancer that had spread to his lymph node system. He was diagnosed at stage 4.
He underwent intensive treatments, including radiation and chemotherapy. As a result, he could not eat or drink solid foods and went three months living off nutrients fed to him through a tube. “I also could not talk above a whisper for four or five months,” Jason added.
After his treatments, though the cancer seemed gone, Jason continued to live with side effects from the disease and treatment. “I was more tired than ever,” he said. “They eventually found out that my thyroid had completely shut down. I now have to be on thyroid meds for the rest of my life.” He also suffers dry mouth as a result of the radiation and now cannot eat without having water as well.
Over the next decades, Jason got to back off on his yearly check-ups. He married Ali and they started a family. They fostered and then gained legal guardianship of daughters Jordis and Jaida. They had a baby, Joseph. And they were prepared to celebrate Jason’s 20th anniversary of being cancer free in 2021 when they showed his doctor a concerning spot on his face.
The spot was indeed cancerous, and Jason was diagnosed with malignant melanoma, an aggressive form of skin cancer. It was a devastating diagnosis, but the Tonsfeldt family was prepared to fight. Jason had surgery to remove the spot plus a sentinel lymph node. He also started immunotherapy and took part in a drug trial meant to boost the effects of the treatment.
When baby Joseph Tonsfeldt was just a week old, he was on his way to Omaha for dad’s cancer treatments. They traveled all the way to Nebraska for the treatments every three weeks. The process completely wiped Jason out. “For a week after each treatment, he could barely get out of bed,” Ali explains. “He had no energy.” To make matters worse, the trial drug did not work.
Still, it all seemed worth it when they were told there was no sign of cancer by March of 2022. Yet, only nine months later, in January of this year, the worst happened get again. The cancer was back. “This time, they really weren’t messing around,” said Jason. “He underwent surgery within just a week this time,” Ali added. “And the doctors said if they waited just a week more it could have been really bad.”
Jason was subjected to a ‘neck dissection’ where they folded the skin of his neck down and removed all the lymph nodes on the left side of his neck, leaving him with a sizable scar. He also started immunotherapy again which Ali describes as “teaching the body to fight the cancer itself.” He currently receives a treatment every four weeks.
This time, the Tonsfeldts got a little relief by being able to do half of the treatments in Aberdeen and thus driving to Omaha less. The current course of treatments isn’t a picnic but isn’t as draining as what Jason experienced with his previous cancer bouts. “I get an infusion that takes about 45 minutes. The week after, I might have minor flulike symptoms,” said Jason.
Through it all, Ali said Jason has had an unflaggingly positive attitude. “He is always good at keeping all our spirits up,” she said. Jason added, “Feeling sorry for myself doesn’t make it any better.” Instead of succumbing to fear and worry, the Tonsfeldts and their kids find humor in their situation, including inventing stories about how Jason came about his scars and ailments.
Yet, in the midst of Jason’s third bout of cancer, both he and Ali acknowledge the hardships the battle has caused.
There is of course the mental toll the illness takes on the whole family, but also more tangible effects. The travel and treatments are draining for not only Jason, but the whole family. It is also expensive, as are medical bills. “We are still paying off medical bills from the last round of cancer,” Ali said.
Helping with those burdens over the last years, the Tonseldts say they have been overwhelmed by the support they have received. “We live in the best community in the world,” stressed Jason.
“The support we have gotten through our church, families and town has been outstanding. And it hasn’t waned in the last few years.”
Whether it was friends who let their daughters stay with them as Ali and Jason traveled to Omaha, meals provided or prayers offered, the couple say they are humbled by the outpouring of kindness.
“When we got home from treatment at two in the morning and found our driveway had been cleared by someone after a big snow, I almost cried,” said Ali. “All the little things add up. We thank God everyday for all the support we have.”
One of those staunch supporters is a friend of the family, Pam Lunzman. Lunzman knew both Ali and Jason through working with the Northern Fort Playhouse and Community Theatre. She also understood what they were going through. “Cancer touches all of us in one way or another. I lost my biological mother to cancer, my seven-year-old nephew and now my adoptive mother is currently in the fight,” said Lunzman.
“This disease effects everyone around the person diagnosed,” she added. “The expenses, stress, uncertainty, and physical effects of treatment change each day.” For the Tonsfeldts, Lunzman saw an opportunity to help. “I can’t change the diagnosis or remove the pain or stresses. But organizing a benefit is the one thing I can do.”
With that in mind, Lunzman launched full force into planning a benefit for the Tonsfeldts. The event will be this Saturday at the Britton Event Center. Lunzman and many volunteers, donors and helpers are planning an afternoon and evening of fun for the whole family starting at 3:30 p.m.
There will be a taco bar meal and live and silent auctions. People can join in a comhole tournament or jigsaw puzzle competition, both starting with registration at 3:30 p.m. There will be a whole room of kids’ activities sponsored by the Britton Public Library, including face painting and a bounce house. Adult beverages will be available as well.
Lunzman hopes many people come out. “If everyone does a little, we all together Tonsfeldt is pictured with his wife Ali. The couple has endured a great deal together due to Jason’s cancer diagnoses. They have three children: Jordis, Jaida and Joseph.
CAN make a huge difference in the lives of another,” she emphasized. For their part, the Tonsfeldts are humbled by the efforts of Lunzman and so many others. “We are kind of shy people,” said Ali, “and don’t look for handouts, so the idea of the benefit has been overwhelming. We cannot say enough about Pam and the others helping.”
The Tonsfeldts look forward to seeing everyone on Saturday. “We hope people just come and have fun,” they said. “We have learned how important family and friends are during this journey, and we hope the benefit is just a good time for all of those groups.”
